Takeaway for Oligarchs

If you have a few billions lying around then you are going to love the new ‘billionaire’ takeaway available through deliveroo. After that wild night out, you’ll be ready for some serious munchies and this takeaway certainly has a serious price tag! At £950, this has to be the worlds most expensive takeaway and not a pizza in sight!  Served on a silver platter – of course, a bed of dollars (not even real) line the base which is then covered with a mac and cheese/Caesar salad. On top of that you get premium Scottish lobster, 2 year aged parmigiano, caviar, black truffle and 23 carat gold leaf (edible of course) Oh and a glass of Kavalan Solist Vinho Barrique Whiskey which beats the 1 litre of soda any day. Ideal if you are based in Battersea or Wandsworth, rubbish if you are based anywhere else as this is only available in the aforementioned locations.

Our beautiful Battersea escorts can of course keep you company and share your nibbles. It does seem rather a lot to have to eat alone so why not share the delight with one of our sensational escorts in London. At our London escort agency we have scores of stunners located in all areas of the city as we haven’t limited our top class beauties to just a few areas, unlike deliveroo.

Takeaways are not the usual choice of our clients. They prefer to enjoy a meal in the proper setting. The closest our clients will get is room service, which of course can be enjoyed in the privacy of one’s hotel suite and should your taste buds be screaming for lobster then most five star luxury hotels are likely to oblige. We’ve always found lobster to be a little messy but then all the best things in life usually are!

Battersea and Wandsworth are both high class areas in South West London and both areas are covered by our stunning outcall escorts. We of course cover all other places in central London and also have a number of high class London escorts who are happy to entertain gentlemen at their own home addresses. Anything from a single hour to an entire night can be enjoyed in the very best company but you don’t have to stay in to have an amazing time with our escorts.

Dates out in the city are often enjoyed with our girls. Lots of our clients like to dine out or they have invitations to all the best parties and premiers, galas and balls. Our London escorts are the ideal companions with whom to share a very special evening and once the clock strikes midnight, our London escorts won’t disappear on you. We have all types of stunning young ladies available for gentlemen to choose their ideal companion from all backgrounds around the world. If you do happen to be a Russian Oligarch then we have a number of high class and elite Russian London escorts who would be ideal , some of them are partial to lobster too!

Not snow but Golden showers

Most people in the UK love a conversation about weather. It is tried and tested and a wonderful conversation piece if you are stuck in an awkward situation. We love to talk about the heat or the cold and people can become quite animated at the first few flakes of snow. Of course with our recent weather the country has been hyped up into hysteria about a few flakes of snow however the main searches on Google show that we are looking at showers of another kind – the golden kind.

With recent events across the pond, the search for the golden shower has reached new heights. Many people are just searching what it means whilst porn hub has announced that golden shower videos have been extremely popular this week. The sudden interest is because of a newspaper report that accuses the president-elect of enjoying this pleasure with a group of ladies in the presidential suite hotel and more precisely on a bed that the president before him slept in.

These reports have been rubbished by pretty much everyone however the phrase has sparked the interest of many who did not even know what it was or even that it was a popular fetish at all. Our London escort agency is quite used to requests such as these and it is a term that we are very familiar with. So much so that we actually don’t consider it a fetish at all although we understand that many of the general public who may not be the more adventurous types , would find it so shocking.

At our London escort agency we are all for trying something new  out. It keeps the interest and the excitement alive and if you discover that you don’t love it after all, then you are in no way committed to trying it again. How do you know that you like ice-cream without trying it? All our beautiful London escorts are extremely open minded and non judgemental. They are happy to help their clients discover new excitement every day. Let’s not forget that what is considered to be outrageous by our clients is probably an every day occurrence for our London escorts so no one is going to think any less of you, in fact our London escorts are more likely to be very impressed at your outgoing and imaginative nature than anything else. Intimacy is all about discovery. Finding new things that turn you on can enhance and improve your love life. It can ensure a limitless amount of pleasure and certainly prevent any boredom setting in! When you consider that we get  intimate many times in the course of our adult years so why should we have to simply stick to the same things over again and expect it to be exciting? We eat different meals every day to ward off boredom so why not with our sensual appetites? Certainly if you are in the market for trying something new then a date with any of our gorgeous London escorts should be  the cards for you – just give us a call and we can match you with the most suitable and imaginative escort in our portfolio.

Tinder on remote

Everyone loves Tinder. All those possible dates, all those chances to connect and of course all those tired old one liners. Despite being the butt of most jokes, Tinder has certainly given us plenty of stories to tell our friends, both hilarious and shocking but now they have gone that one step further – perhaps a little too far in some people’s estimation. Tinder (and grindR) for that matter have been invited to join up with OhMiBod (you know,  the remote sex toy company). They have the technology that allows your sex toy to be controlled remotely by someone else using the app, so when you match with someone on tinder, you could ‘connect’ with them and you could have them controlling your orgasms without ever having to meet! Nifty!

Problem is, Tinder is trying to move away from its ‘hook up’ reputation towards one of true love.hey want to be the byword in long lasting relationships so being able to control a complete strangers sex toy is probably  not the way they want to move forward however it could certainly be a great way to find out if your match is ‘the one’. If they can’t even bring you off with a vibrator, then surely they are not the one for you?

Sex toys are great fun. They can add a new and exciting dimension to your flirting. They are actually named as the UKs most popular fetish – although given the fact that they are so mainstream, should they even be considered a fetish anymore anyway – aren’t they just the norm? Our ladies love these toys, they allow for a certain amount of sensual freedom and new ways to enjoy pleasure in company and alone so why not hook them up to your phone (not literally) and take it that step further?

There are of course plenty of sexy toys on the market that allow for long distance loving but these require the users to already know each other first. Ohmibod is a new type of tech that only requires an account on tinder, they work with the app already and don’t require any additional tech – seems clever to us, although there must be a way to only choose when you want it working – could be awkward in many different situations!

People in general are becoming far more open to new ways to have sensual fun. We are seeing ourselves in the requests that our clients are making. We’ve not  had anyone want to connect remotely though and whilst this may be an idea or a service that we offer in the future we have no plans at the moment. We are still firm believers in face to face contact as the best way to enjoy an erotic and sensual encounter although there is nothing to say that the excitement cant be prolonged with a more remote arrangement afterwards. For that first initial encounter why not browse our gallery of gorgeous London escorts and make that call to request a date at your earliest possible convenience. Get a buzz the old fashioned way with a tryst with one of our gorgeous London escorts.

Fapping at work

*NSFW* well, depends what your work is really I guess. This is likely to cause a ‘mass-debate’ but apparently fapping at work is the new smoke break. – see what we did there? No, ok. Let us explain.

Fapping is the word for  a quick wank sesh and apparently the folks over at Ravishly have decided that this is a brilliant way to boost output and creativity (boost output as in work related output obviously) in the workplace. Where people would pop out for a quick smoke, now people should be allowed to ‘pop one out’ instead. The report even goes as far as saying that up to 40% of New York workers regularly admit to masturbating whilst on the job. Of course we are assuming that they are referring to office workers since we can guarantee that other work places can hit 100% every day *winks*

Joking aside, there you were wishing that you worked for Google with their nap rooms and games tables and all the while New Yorkers were getting their tension relieved elsewhere. In your face Google! The science actually agrees with this fact since it does relieve tension and stress and could also be used as a personal motivational tool for getting stuff done before doing yourself. The result could be a more focused workplace with less aggression and higher productivity although it might kill off the handshake and certainly this wouldn’t apply to anyone working in a restaurant!

Of course, timing could be an issue. You might feel under pressure to orgasm quickly so that you are not missed from your desk for too long and the ability to enjoy your self loving privately and quietly would of course be an expectation. Some experts believe that allowing fapping breaks might also see sexual harassment become a bigger problem in the work place where staff start to fantasise about colleagues and blur the formal lines. Despite being an escort agency, we are not sure that this would actually be a great idea in practice. Self loving and shared loving are things that we associate with our leisure time. Belting one off in the bathroom in record time is not conducive to pleasure, release yes, but pleasure no. Imagine the sense of frustration if you are interrupted or worse, simply cannot focus enough to climax. Its quite difficult to time the vibrator to be in sync with the hand dryer ( so we are told).  There are plenty of people who cannot get back into work mode after having a crunchie at tea break let alone anything else!

Whilst all this is great fun to debate and discuss, one might prefer to separate the two things, work and pleasure from each other. With some work colleagues, you really don’t want to start wondering what they are up to when they disappear from their desk and it may lead you to want to wear gloves at all times, just incase. Of course this is all just an every day occurrence for us and now you know why we have been thumbing our noses at Google employees for years! *mutters* Nap rooms, lame!

Bare or bushy?

It’s funny how social expectations change over the course of time. Think about it, thirty years ago we had the flick and the mullet and whilst these are laughed at now, they were top fashion looks at the time. The same with other hairstyles too. Back in the seventies, bushes were, well, bushy! Pubic hair sprouted from knicker lines and was highly desired. The odd trim or perhaps a little topiary trimming was in order but all in all, things were left to run wild. For the most part, people loved it. It was easy upkeep, pain free and of course a wonderful collection point for all those sexy pheromones. Fast forward a few years and it is gone. For most women, the thought of a stray hair ‘down there’ is horrifying. Smooth and bare is the order of the day despite the fact that hot waxes, shaving and all manner of painful processes are used to achieve the look. Discomfort is worth it in order to achieve a smooth and silky result – if only for a single day and if you use a razor, then that’s all you’ll get before the itching and stabbing set in!

For the most part it does seem that guys prefer us bare down there and yet when questioned, women said they preferred a little growth on a man. Not ringlets or dreadlocks or anything just a tidy smattering of short growth – think the Mitchell brothers type of hairstyle.

Perhaps the change in style was down to porn. The money shot is certainly easier to capture without a curtain of tresses in the way. Fighting through Japanese knotweed is not deemed to be  much fun and men are visual creatures after all. As we know, if we see something often enough then it becomes accepted as ‘the norm’. If we are getting personal, it is actually very unlikely that you would find a London escort sporting a full bush. Perhaps those who specialise in more fetish types of fun but of course, that raises the question of when did the natural body become seen as a fetish? It seems to be down to more personal taste (pardon the pun)! Silky smooth is generally accepted as desirable and sexy so why not have this extended to the most desirable area of all. Of course it does raise the issue of beard rash and we are not talking about something a man might have to endure so if we have any advice for you, it would be to go gently on that soft bare skin. It is delicate and by nature, not meant to be so exposed. Soft and smooth is the way to go and certainly give you the rewards you are seeking. In contrast, do make sure that your own dingly dell is well kept and groomed. If we are to expect a certain level of commitment to our preferred upkeep then it is only fair to meet and equal that level of dedication. In a nutshell – guys, get the mower out once in a while!

Cold feet = unsatisfied!

The people from the Netherlands are known for their lack of inhibitions and sense of openness when it comes to sex so it is not surprising that the University of Groningen (in the Netherlands) spent time researching the relationship between cold feet and bad sex. We are not entirely sure what lead to this research being undertaken – was there a particularly bad winter or a shortage of socks that lead to researchers coming to this conclusion, it is not clear but what is clear is the fact that wearing socks in bed can improve your sex life.

Now, at Agency Barracuda we understand that cold toes are not sexy – especially if they are planted firmly on your back, however a pair of grey socks are not exactly orgasm inducing either and so we take the research to mean that warm feet in general are better than cold.

This research is definitely borne out in science because dilation of the blood vessels in the extremities does lead to a more relaxed state of mind and therefore more open to sensuality opportunities. Also because the flow of blood is freely moving, blood can be sent to other areas much faster – you get where we are going here?

So whilst we should ignore the whole sock reference which was used to simply jazz up the research, there is truth in the findings. As with a lot of these things we shouldn’t take them too literally and our beautiful London escorts are not going to get hot under the collar or anywhere else for that matter if their clients insist on keeping their socks on and even if the research were to be taken literally they do take great pains to explain that they are not talking about socks that have been worn for the last 12 hours – eewww! We forgot to mention too that the research also showed that having warm feet can help you to doze off to sleep faster but really, who is likely to want to do that in the company of one of our stunning London escorts?

It is highly unlikely that any of our clients have an issue with vasodilation (getting blood flowing through the system to our extremities). Our high class London escorts have done their own thorough  research and tend to get great results every time! Our clients are almost always very hot under the collar and have no issues with getting their blood pumping through the system!  Surprisingly most of the research our girls have done involves NOT wearing socks or indeed clothes of any kind (except in the costume areas of course) so perhaps the researchers from the Netherlands just tested on the wrong subjects.

The best way to find anything out for sure is always to do your own testing and at our London escort agency we have scores of beauties (all minus socks) who will be more than willing test subjects. Why not make your choice and then give is a call and we guarantee that whatever the weather – you won’t be feeling the chill.

Soap in your eye?

Buzzfeed has some wonderful ideas when it comes to bedroom imaginations however their most recent has raised a few eyebrows. It may be the case that they are in collaboration with Dove or maybe they feel that the nation’s men are not clean enough but whatever the reason, the suggestion that a bar of soap should be used as a ‘masturbation hack for men’ is not appealing for anyone.

Certainly, our ladies will now be checking the soap dish in every household they visit for the tell-tale centre cut-out, although why anyone would want to save it to use the next morning is anyone’s guess. It does seem though that advertising agencies are trending towards cock rings with their products. The new Dyson hair dryer, the one with a hole in the middle, was advertise with the slogan ‘men, just don’t put your willy in it’ in many other countries around the world – Not in England because we wouldn’t dream of doing that, would we? It all begs the question, is there a world shortage of cock rings that household items are now doubling up as self-loving aids? Or is it simply a case of shock tactics. It seems the sexy woman in the shower to promote said bar of soap is not enough anymore, and that is a shame.

That being said, our stunning London escorts love to lather up and they don’t require a hole in the soap to do so. Just some company perhaps. Showering together is a great way to add a new dimension to your fun as a couple and leaves you feeling fresh and invigorated for the rest of the day.

When a client books some time with any of our London escorts we expect that he should be no stranger to the humble bar of soap although perhaps not in the way that Buzzfeed expect. Cleanliness is attractive and paves the way to a more enjoyable encounter, although it has been known that an encounter would be refused entirely if the shower had been avoided for a while!

Anyone that spends time with our sensual and sophisticated London escorts knows that they spend a great deal of time ensuring that they are perfect for every date and we expect the same level of consideration from our clients. We do understand however that when coming straight from a gruelling meeting or after a lengthy travel, arriving freshly showered is not always possible. This is where the hotel en-suite comes into its own and let’s not forget that it is a truly sexy look, stepping from the shower with dripping hair with just a towel to protect one’s modesty!

Clients who regularly spend time with our high class London escorts have no need for ‘hacks’ of any kind. Whilst promotions and stories such as these are amusing, one does have to wonder at the imaginations and creativity of those who come up with them. Perhaps a brief call to the offices of Buzzfeed might be in order to introduce them to the delights of loving with another person rather than the delights of soap on a rope!

Fun in a capsule!

If you regularly travel you will, no doubt, have found yourself stuck in an uncomfortable departure lounge on more than one occasion. How many times have you probably wished that you had booked that hotel room if only to ease those aching bones. The clever clogs at Gatwick understand this and have come up with the Yotel concept. From the same company which brought us Yo! Sushi, Yotel aims to ‘translate luxury into a small smart space’ in much the same way that we fell in love with dinky lunches. However, there is a bit of a design flaw. Whilst it is amusing to nibble on teeny tiny bite size rice and fish portions, it is no laughing matter to try and squeeze oneself into a broom cupboard and call it luxury, no matter how shiny and reflective the walls are.

Admittedly, if all you are looking for is somewhere away from the crowds to lay your head before your flight connection then this is about as convenient as it gets however if you are looking to enjoy some company during your stop over then you had better book a London escort who also doubles as a contortionist!

It is quite a common occurrence for our clients to request the company of our beautiful escorts in London whilst they are waiting for their flight connection or before they jet off out of the country. Usually our clients will book a traditional hotel room in one of the hotels connected to the airport and whilst the Yotel location is perfect, indeed there are a number of other hotels in the chain in New York, Paris, and in other airports around the world, the space can be an issue.

At our London escort agency we like to think that our clients can express themselves freely when they are with our London escorts and we fear that in a confined space, this is not likely to happen however given that there are so any options in terms of private spaces when visiting Gatwick, for those who wish to be joined by one of our gloriously gorgeous London escorts, maybe a different and more traditional choice would be better suited.

Our London escort agency is always very much in demand with clients who have no time for commitment and long term relationships. Many of our discerning gentlemen are committed to their work and find themselves travelling throughout the world for much of the year. This however, does not dampen the need or feminine company at time to time and our beautiful elite London escorts are the perfect choice. We have London escorts in all areas of the city and whilst we do not have escorts located permanently at Gatwick airport, our beauties are always more than happy to provide an outcall service and visit clients who are staying temporarily in the area. Much like our clients prefer the service our elite London escort agency provides, we expect that our ladies will not be joining their clients in a broom cupboard any time soon!

Ideas for days out in London

Harry Potter is the Nation’s most loved and famous wizard. Whilst it has been nearly 18 years since JK Rowling first published the hit novel, the fascinating books and films continue to captivate the imagination of both children and adults across the world! Due to its popularity, a number of walks and tours have been made available across London so that you can get a little bit closer to experiencing the excitement of the fictional world of wizards. At Warner Brothers Studio, the special exhibition of the ‘Making of Harry Potter’ has done an outstanding job of keeping the magic of Hogwarts alive. However, this is no ordinary tour as you will have the opportunity to walk into the Great Hall of Hogwarts, down Diagon Alley and onto the famous platform 9 ¾. If that wasn’t exciting enough, you can also learn a bit about what goes on behind the scenes!

Whilst this experience will be both exciting and memorable, we are certain that it will not fulfil your every fantasy. Barracuda London Escorts Agency is guaranteed to do just that, offering you the chance date one of the most beautiful women you will every lay your eyes on. Whether your preference be curvy, tall or petite women, Agency Barrcuda will not disappoint. Our Central London escorts, East London escorts and international escorts, are high class and highly professional but most of all, they are here for your pleasure 7 days a week. Our stunning escorts will do nothing than make your deepest desires and wildest fantasies become a reality. If you wish to be joined on a social event, intimate dinner or Harry Potter experience, our beauties will be delighted to spend time with you! To organize your unforgettable date today, call Barracuda London Escort Agency on 07912 673063.

No sucking just lick and nibble!

If you missed the Uber free Ice cream giveaway last week, don’t fret as it turns out there was a miscommunication in the fact that the company delivered ice lollies instead. As we know ice-cream and ice-lollies are two entirely different things and the company came under fire on social media because of it.

17 cities across the UK were the beneficiaries of Uber’s generosity however it didn’t go to plan when people started to complain that their expected ice-cream turned out to be just flavoured ice. Very disappointing indeed, even if they were free. Turns out though that recent research has shown that we haven’t been eating ice lollies properly anyway.

The best way to stop an ice-lolly from melting all over your feet is to start from the bottom and work your way up with a series of small bites and licks. Now it seems that the nation prefers to lick from the top down, resolutely working their way through the layers until the bottom or the inner layer is reached – given that the middle (in the case of the Mivvie) is where the good bit is or at the bottom (chocolate, in the case of the Cornetto) it would also seem that ice-lolly makers have got it all wrong too. Now those with sensitive teeth (and that is a resounding 58% of us) would flinmch at the thought of biting one so perhaps we should simply carry  on the way we are and just lick faster!

Most of our beautiful London escorts tend not to get in too much of a mess with their lollies but then of course, they are professional and really rather good at ensuring there are no drips. *Ahem* They automatically follow the rules of nibble and lick from the bottom up but draw the line at no sucking. Yes we are still talking about ice-lollies!