Takeaway for Oligarchs

If you have a few billions lying around then you are going to love the new ‘billionaire’ takeaway available through deliveroo. After that wild night out, you’ll be ready for some serious munchies and this takeaway certainly has a serious price tag! At £950, this has to be the worlds most expensive takeaway and not a pizza in sight!  Served on a silver platter – of course, a bed of dollars (not even real) line the base which is then covered with a mac and cheese/Caesar salad. On top of that you get premium Scottish lobster, 2 year aged parmigiano, caviar, black truffle and 23 carat gold leaf (edible of course) Oh and a glass of Kavalan Solist Vinho Barrique Whiskey which beats the 1 litre of soda any day. Ideal if you are based in Battersea or Wandsworth, rubbish if you are based anywhere else as this is only available in the aforementioned locations.

Our beautiful Battersea escorts can of course keep you company and share your nibbles. It does seem rather a lot to have to eat alone so why not share the delight with one of our sensational escorts in London. At our London escort agency we have scores of stunners located in all areas of the city as we haven’t limited our top class beauties to just a few areas, unlike deliveroo.

Takeaways are not the usual choice of our clients. They prefer to enjoy a meal in the proper setting. The closest our clients will get is room service, which of course can be enjoyed in the privacy of one’s hotel suite and should your taste buds be screaming for lobster then most five star luxury hotels are likely to oblige. We’ve always found lobster to be a little messy but then all the best things in life usually are!

Battersea and Wandsworth are both high class areas in South West London and both areas are covered by our stunning outcall escorts. We of course cover all other places in central London and also have a number of high class London escorts who are happy to entertain gentlemen at their own home addresses. Anything from a single hour to an entire night can be enjoyed in the very best company but you don’t have to stay in to have an amazing time with our escorts.

Dates out in the city are often enjoyed with our girls. Lots of our clients like to dine out or they have invitations to all the best parties and premiers, galas and balls. Our London escorts are the ideal companions with whom to share a very special evening and once the clock strikes midnight, our London escorts won’t disappear on you. We have all types of stunning young ladies available for gentlemen to choose their ideal companion from all backgrounds around the world. If you do happen to be a Russian Oligarch then we have a number of high class and elite Russian London escorts who would be ideal , some of them are partial to lobster too!

Secret night out

London may not be the biggest city in the world but it certainly has plenty of nooks and crannies to get lost in. if you don’t want to be found, London has many different options that even locals don’t even know about. Here we have a run down on some of the best kept secrets of the city where you can enjoy a quiet or not so quiet drink with just the right amount of seediness to add that prison of excitement.

East London has to be the first place to head towards as its cellars and cobbled streets retain much of it’s historic charm. Shoreditch has reinvented itself of late and is very popular with the up and comings of the capital. With plenty of subterranean lock ups and speakeasys there are lots of places to get lost in. Happiness forgets is a charming cavern of cocktails situated beneath a Thai restaurant in Hoxton Square. Down to earth and practical, people go here to enjoy the cocktails and the ambience rather than to see and be seen. The perfect place to lose a few hours and to disappear of the map for a while. Moorgate is another area that has plenty to shout about in terms of basement beauties. The bar beneath the New Breakfast club in Spitalfields is something akin to a mountain hideaway. Ideal on a cold winter’s evening you can relax in the warmth of the venue and the atmosphere in equal measure. The cocktails are rather good too.

For those of you who require a more lavish and louche venue then head over to the ‘artistic’ area of London. Covent Garden is perhaps the best place to enjoy a not so secret night out. Decadent bars with bawdy cabarets are hidden away enough so as not to offend the culture crowd so head down to CellarDoor or Phoenix Artist Club. CellarDoor was once a public convenience however there are no references left that would give away its previous life. Lavishly updated and wildly decadent your night will be truly epic on a grand scale. The Phoenix Artist Club is where you will want to go if you really don’t care about your night being ‘secret’. The luvvies will be out in full force, the professional partygoers and the exhibitionists too although it is that public you could rely on being anonymous here. No-one is likely to take any notice of you given the outlandish folk who call themselves regulars. Certainly a place to go just to see the sights and have stories to dine out on for many years to come!

Of course our beautiful London escorts are available to accompany you on such nights out.  If you want to see the less promoted bars of London then our stunning escorts in London know all the best places to go however if you truly want a secret night in London then our best advice would be to make a booking at a London hotel and have one or more of our amazing London escorts visit you. Hotel staff can usually be relied upon for their discretion and, quite frankly, the numbers of guests who walk through their doors every day, they are unlikely to remember you anyway!

Burns night blast!

OK we know that Burns night was officially on Wednesday, but seriously, who parties midweek? Whether you have Scottish heritage or not, the chance to enjoy a wild shindig is not to be missed so if you can find some link to your highland heraldry, however tenuous, then we suggest you do so this weekend.

Burns night celebrates Scotland’s national poet, Robert burns. Eating, drinking, dancing to the pipes is the traditional way to celebrate his birthday and there are plenty of places in London happy to host various events. Most took place during the week, actually on his birthday of the 25th however there are still a few places that had the savvy to know that no-one has a birthday party on the actual day itself, they wait until the weekend of course.

The Ceilidh club are holding their annual celebrations at the Hammersmith Town hall this weekend. If you buy a couple of tickets you get to dance to a band and caller, don’t worry if you don’t know the steps, they’ll be called out and are fairly straightforward. Just bounce a lot and you’ll fit right in! There will also be a buffet of Haggis, Neeps (turnips) and Tatties (potatoes) and of course the obligatory ‘Address to the Haggis’. Plenty of fun to be had and of course a great deal of whiskey sampling to wash it all down. If you don’t have a dance partner, then of course our beautiful London escorts are available and happy to dance the night away! We can’t guarantee that you will find many escorts from Scotland however our girls do look good in tartan.

At our London escort agency we like to think that our clients can enjoy any type of night out with our beauties. Our London escort dates are not always about staying in and getting intimate. Lots of our clients enjoy the companionship that our stunning London escorts provide. Our girls are chosen not only for their universal physical appeal but also for their bright and bubbly personalities, sense of fun and adventure and enthusiasm to enjoy new experiences. Open minded, vivacious and energetic, they will ensure that your time together is truly memorable for all the right reasons.

Redheads are associated with Scotland and at our London escort agency we have a number of flame haired stunners for clients to spend time with. Our redheads are passionate and playful and ideally suited to a wild night out, or a wild night in if you prefer! Not all our redheads are natural though.. This vibrant hair colour is often chosen by our escorts to express their personalities. Only the most daring and confident choose the copper tones that turn heads and draw attention wherever they go.

Why not visit our London escort galleries and see which of our most beautiful London escorts would be a perfect date for you to enjoy your Burns night out. A quick call to our agency will give you all the information you need to make your booking and you could be looking forward to a wonderful weekend ahead in less than a minute!

Suffering from Singlephobia?

It seems that the new buzz word on the street is ‘singlephobia’. This is where so many singletons are so afraid that they will end up alone, they try all kinds of different ways to hook up with someone from the opposite sex. We all know the popularity of Tinder (and the horror stories that go with it) but now the clever people at Match.com have come up with a new idea to help you find a ‘hot’ date. Expresso yourself was reamed up in collaboration with Coffee Ripples. They take a photo of your face and replicate it in coffee droplets so you get your face on the top of a coffee. Neat idea. The cup also gives all those all important statistics about you, name, age, occupation, height, hair colour etc etc. The idea was to promote the dating site as being as easy to use as ordering a cup of coffee.

We can tell you something that is even easier if you are looking for the hottest date around – just pick up the phone and call our London escort agency. We don’t have gimmicks and wild ‘pop up ‘ promotions, just an extensive gallery, full of the most beautiful, erotic and sensual escort girls in London. What is more, you don’t even have to go through the pretence of listening to stories about their cats/cute family embers/ex boyfriends. You can simply get to know each other with no strings attached and see where it takes you!

Being single is not so bad, not as far as we have found anyway! Being a singleton allows you the freedom to follow your own desires and of course if you can meet someone who is likeminded then there is no limit as to where those desires can take you! All of our beautiful escorts in London are very openminded and adventurous and have plenty of enthusiasm for all sorts of naughty pleasures. They also have no desire to hook up on a long term basis and are the match made in heaven for those who want a no strings approach to their intimacy.

Its not all sexual acrobatics though. If you want to cuddle up on the sofa and watch a good film or perhaps go out to dinner or a club or just for a few drinks and great conversation, you will also find that our beauties are intelligent, witty and just plain interesting. Given the fact that so many of our beautiful London escorts come from various parts of the world can be a real eye opener if you  take the time to open up a conversation although we understand that face to face, their physical appeal could be somewhat overwhelming when you first meet.

In London, there is no need to suffer from singlephobia. If you focus on your lack of relationship then you are likely to settle for something less than you deserve. Why not embrace the opportunity to explore new avenues and gain some new experiences in the process so that when you do meet ‘the one’ you have so much more to offer.

Two and a half minutes to midnight!

If you are still basking in the romantic afterglow of valentine’s day by the 16th February then you are either very much in love or the ‘Mysterious Universe’ prediction is right and we have been struck by an asteroid. This latest Doomsday theory states that a massive asteroid is set to hit earth on that day causing the death of our planet. The asteroid apparently comes from a planetary system called Nibiru, the same place that the Annunaki live. These are the beings that are attributed with the creating of human life. If this is all news to you then that’s because conspiracy theorists state that there is a pact between Russia and western governments to conceal the existence of the planet, the beings and their determination to end life on earth! Well, that explains that then!

Every year there seems to be a new doomsday prediction, and this year is no exception. Today the organisation managing the ‘doomsday clock’ have announced that they have moved the ‘time’  to 2.5 minutes to midnight. The clock is a universal  indicator of the world’s vulnerability to catastrophe. The closest it has ever been to midnight was in 1953 when the USA created the hydrogen bomb. With the ‘time’ set to two and a half minutes to the witching hour of midnight, scientists seem to think that this is the greatest chance of exterminating our planet than ever before, perhaps they know more about this asteroid than they are letting on!

Most of us will probably simply get on with our lives, even in the face of this terrifying news. The snow will still fall tomorrow and most likely further tube strikes will be planned but if you want to make absolutely sure you get to enjoy your last few weeks on earth, while it still exists, we recommend that the best way to do that would be to enjoy a tryst with any of our sensual and erotic London escorts. If the worst is set to happen, might as well make the earth move in the right way!

If the Annunaki are to be credited with the creation of the human race then they should be applauded for their choice of beauties. If our gallery of stunning companions is anything to go by then the female of that species must be something really special. Perhaps it won’t be such a bad thing if they do decide to invade us!

Whilst you are waiting for our planet to be invaded by a group of sensational beauties , our London escort agency has many of our own. With escorts from all over the world there should be more than enough choice to keep everyone entertained. Whether you have a preference for blondes, brunettes or busty women we have Latin stunners, Baltic beauties and Raunchy Russians of all types and of all experiences to thrill and ignite the imagination. With the extensive portfolio at our London escort agency,, you are going to be extremely busy between now and the planned date of Armageddon on 16th February! Call now and make a start as soon as possible 07912673063

Winter warmers at Agency Barracuda

There are only a few things in life that cause a Londoner to raise his/her eyebrows and one of them is snow. Snow doesn’t often fall in London and when it does it doesn’t get to stay around very long. In the city we feel as if we are impervious to the weather , except of course, rain so when we see photos in the media of the rest of the country being whitewashed, we tend to ignore it and concentrate on how to get home in a tube strike.

Funnily enough, yesterday saw a fresh tube strike going ahead so you have probably already ha the week from hell so to make matters worse, forecasters are predicting that we could actually have snow in London on Friday! If you have any spare leave you can take, the suggestion would be to take it and cut your losses and enjoy a long weekend!

Of course, any snow in London is not likely to be heavy however, given the fact that our infrastructure cannot bar anything more than a touch of drizzle it is bound to impact on all of us causing travel misery everywhere. Of course, at Agency barracuda, our best advice would be to simply stay at home and ensure you have plenty planned to keep you warm and occupied. It is handy that this is likely on a Friday so it could just be a blessing in disguise. You get the extended weekend plus the perfect excuse to book one of our beauties to keep you warm in the frosty conditions.

Whilst you might wonder how our stunning London escorts get about during all the various rail and transport action and strikes. Most of our ladies are happy to use taxi and car services and always ensure that they leave in plenty of time to get to their appointments when expected. Where a client is expecting to spend time with them at a hotel in London, we have plenty of beauties who live close by and can even walk to the encounter. There is little that gets in the way of our clients having fun!

We have a full complement of beauties available for your booking pleasure tomorrow although if the weather does take a turn for the worse overnight tonight then we would recommend that clients make their bookings with as much advance notice as possible. We often receive last minute calls from gents who suddenly decide that the effort of fighting through the traffic is too much and given the fact that it will be Friday we expect to see plenty of people choosing to ‘work from home’.

As you can see from our gallery we have a number of stunning London escorts who are guaranteed to melt any frost or snow. Many of our stunners originally come from Russia and other Eastern European countries that regularly deal with much worse winter conditions than our so to continue with their outcalls is not a problem at all.  Why not give us a call and turn your snow day into a Yo! Day. Call Agency barracuda on 07912673063

Build a bunker

If you thought that 2016 was bad, it is about to get a great deal worse if the predictions of an Italian Nostradamus are to be believed. Matteo Tafuri died in 1582 but before his death he predicted that two consecutive days of snow in the town of Salento would be the first sign of an impending apocalypse however given the usually warm climate of this Italian area, he has had to wait nearly 500 years for it to come to pass. A couple of days ago saw the very first time ever that Salento enjoyed two consecutive days of snow so of course all the doomsayers have had a field day on social media.

Tafuri does not state in what capacity this apocalypse will take, to most people of that time we would imagine just the way we live our lives would be seen as apocalyptic but of course we have to give the doom mongers something to plan for!

Hollywood does love an ‘end of world as we know it’ scenario and there have been plenty of films made which show the impending end of the earth. All we need is a hero with a beautiful girlfriend to save the day and we’ll all be alright. Could you be that hero or would you prefer to simply enjoy the last few hours you have remaining in some excellent company. At our London escort agency we certainly have the right companionship that will ensure your absolute satisfaction right to the end and even if some new ‘James Bond type’ saves the day then you can still say you spend the last few hours doing what you thoroughly enjoy. Everyone’s a winner.

If the writings of Tafuri have unsettled you then do remember that in the middle ages, there was not such an understanding in changing weather patterns across the earth and climate change. They did not realise that places that are deserts now were one lush tropical forests and lands which are now green and pleasant were once icy places without any habitation so if it has taken 500 years to have 2 days of snow, in December,  in a usually warm area of the world then it is not quite the message of impending doom it was written as. Plus the fact that these were the same people who burnt ginger haired people at the stake because they were ‘demons of the devil’. So forgive us if we don’t take it too seriously but with regards to having an excuse to spend an hour or so in some sexy company then go right ahead and use it as your raison d’etre.

Our London escort agency has plenty of stunning companions to spend time with. We even have amazing red haired beauties that you might like to date, just to thumb your nose at Tafuri. Our red heads could be the ‘she-devil’ you are looking for as they certainly have the passion and sensual awareness that will lead you on a path of debauchery, but then isn’t that exactly what you are looking for?

What is flat and skinny?

What better feeling could there be after a long, stressful day at work than to come home, kick off your shoes and take a big sip of that ice cold wine in your fridge. Nothing, except for the fact that there is no wine in your fridge because left over wine is not something that happens in your house! Cue the shoes back on and regardless of the weather, a trip to the nearest overpriced off license to find that they are (again) out of stock of your top 10 favourites. If only your favourite wine could be waiting for you patiently like the world’s best Labrador only without the hair and the licking.

Garcon wines is a London based company which has that exact solution and they have come up with their wonderfully shaped wine bottles that fit through your letterbox! Subscriptions can be placed from £10 per month so that your favourite bottle(s) of wine can be posted through your door to wait for your return from work. Exciting!

We actually really like this idea and whilst the company admit that their wine choices are not going to be those you would want to store in your wine cellar, most of us just want to down it straight away anyway. We are not buying them for their vintage after all. For anyone wondering the new wine bottles are longer and flatter than the usual rounded shape so that they can fit through your letter box and of course they are plastic and well packaged in a wonderful tamper free box. The subscriptions can be for as many bottle as you desire although of course they will need to be packaged individually otherwise the point of the company is, well, defunct.

There are so many ideas that companies come up with nowadays but few are actually useful to the average Joe or Joanne. This, is definitely a winner and one which we see ourselves using quite a bit! Our local off license owner will certainly feel the pinch but then perhaps he should have thought of that before not caring about stocking our usual choices. Just don’t mix it up with the olive oil as these flat plastic wine bottles are very similar!

Wine of course is something that should be shared with the right company and at our London escort agency we have plenty of stunning London escorts who would love to spend an evening relaxing with you and a chilled beverage. So get your order in  now and make a date with any of our gorgeous escorts in London. We offer outcalls so that our ladies will come to you no matter where you are in the city so you could almost say that we also offer a delivery service except that our ladies are certainly not flat or plastic and wont fit through your letter box! Why not speak to one of our team and make that date for this weekend as we have plenty of stunning blondes, brunettes and cheeky Latin lovelies for you to choose from.

Not snow but Golden showers

Most people in the UK love a conversation about weather. It is tried and tested and a wonderful conversation piece if you are stuck in an awkward situation. We love to talk about the heat or the cold and people can become quite animated at the first few flakes of snow. Of course with our recent weather the country has been hyped up into hysteria about a few flakes of snow however the main searches on Google show that we are looking at showers of another kind – the golden kind.

With recent events across the pond, the search for the golden shower has reached new heights. Many people are just searching what it means whilst porn hub has announced that golden shower videos have been extremely popular this week. The sudden interest is because of a newspaper report that accuses the president-elect of enjoying this pleasure with a group of ladies in the presidential suite hotel and more precisely on a bed that the president before him slept in.

These reports have been rubbished by pretty much everyone however the phrase has sparked the interest of many who did not even know what it was or even that it was a popular fetish at all. Our London escort agency is quite used to requests such as these and it is a term that we are very familiar with. So much so that we actually don’t consider it a fetish at all although we understand that many of the general public who may not be the more adventurous types , would find it so shocking.

At our London escort agency we are all for trying something new  out. It keeps the interest and the excitement alive and if you discover that you don’t love it after all, then you are in no way committed to trying it again. How do you know that you like ice-cream without trying it? All our beautiful London escorts are extremely open minded and non judgemental. They are happy to help their clients discover new excitement every day. Let’s not forget that what is considered to be outrageous by our clients is probably an every day occurrence for our London escorts so no one is going to think any less of you, in fact our London escorts are more likely to be very impressed at your outgoing and imaginative nature than anything else. Intimacy is all about discovery. Finding new things that turn you on can enhance and improve your love life. It can ensure a limitless amount of pleasure and certainly prevent any boredom setting in! When you consider that we get  intimate many times in the course of our adult years so why should we have to simply stick to the same things over again and expect it to be exciting? We eat different meals every day to ward off boredom so why not with our sensual appetites? Certainly if you are in the market for trying something new then a date with any of our gorgeous London escorts should be  the cards for you – just give us a call and we can match you with the most suitable and imaginative escort in our portfolio.

Tinder on remote

Everyone loves Tinder. All those possible dates, all those chances to connect and of course all those tired old one liners. Despite being the butt of most jokes, Tinder has certainly given us plenty of stories to tell our friends, both hilarious and shocking but now they have gone that one step further – perhaps a little too far in some people’s estimation. Tinder (and grindR) for that matter have been invited to join up with OhMiBod (you know,  the remote sex toy company). They have the technology that allows your sex toy to be controlled remotely by someone else using the app, so when you match with someone on tinder, you could ‘connect’ with them and you could have them controlling your orgasms without ever having to meet! Nifty!

Problem is, Tinder is trying to move away from its ‘hook up’ reputation towards one of true love.hey want to be the byword in long lasting relationships so being able to control a complete strangers sex toy is probably  not the way they want to move forward however it could certainly be a great way to find out if your match is ‘the one’. If they can’t even bring you off with a vibrator, then surely they are not the one for you?

Sex toys are great fun. They can add a new and exciting dimension to your flirting. They are actually named as the UKs most popular fetish – although given the fact that they are so mainstream, should they even be considered a fetish anymore anyway – aren’t they just the norm? Our ladies love these toys, they allow for a certain amount of sensual freedom and new ways to enjoy pleasure in company and alone so why not hook them up to your phone (not literally) and take it that step further?

There are of course plenty of sexy toys on the market that allow for long distance loving but these require the users to already know each other first. Ohmibod is a new type of tech that only requires an account on tinder, they work with the app already and don’t require any additional tech – seems clever to us, although there must be a way to only choose when you want it working – could be awkward in many different situations!

People in general are becoming far more open to new ways to have sensual fun. We are seeing ourselves in the requests that our clients are making. We’ve not  had anyone want to connect remotely though and whilst this may be an idea or a service that we offer in the future we have no plans at the moment. We are still firm believers in face to face contact as the best way to enjoy an erotic and sensual encounter although there is nothing to say that the excitement cant be prolonged with a more remote arrangement afterwards. For that first initial encounter why not browse our gallery of gorgeous London escorts and make that call to request a date at your earliest possible convenience. Get a buzz the old fashioned way with a tryst with one of our gorgeous London escorts.

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